Never one to shy away from a fad of the Internet variety, I dusted off my webcam this evening and pulled the trigger on Chatroulette.
And this is how I fared.
Green Lacoste Shirt Guy: Douche.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Hey, bro.
Me: What are you up to?
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Smokin'.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: You cold, bro?
Me: A little bit.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Bummer.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Later, bro.
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: What's up?
Me: I'm just checking out this Chatroulette thing.
Uncle Jesse: We're stoned.
Me: Hey, I'm just glad you're wearing clothes.
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: Your wall looks like mustard.
Uncle Jesse: Ha! It does!
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: Pardon me, do you have any Gre...
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Umm, hi.
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Nice gold wall.
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Bye.
Girl: Where from?
Me: The United States of America. Where are you from?
Girl: What state you live?
Girl: Is cold there?
Me: Yes. Is it cold there?
Girl: New York City?
Me: No, I mean, is it cold in Russia?
Girl: Yes. I live New York City.
Me: I thought you lived in Rus...
Male with Braces: Hey!
Me: Where are you?
Male with Braces: Orange County.
Male with Braces: Is it cold there?
Male with Braces: It's perfect here.
Male with Braces: Sorry, I didn't mean to give you the big 'Weather Fuck You.'
Me: No worries.
Me: Welp, see ya later.
Me: I like your jacket.
Me: You're being kind of creepy. I can hear you breathing.
Me: Okay. I'm gonna go.
Nappy Girl: Hi.
Me: How are you?
Nappy Girl: Bored.
Me: That stinks.
Nappy Girl: Next.
Me: Umm, seriously?
Me: You two should probably be wearing a condom.
Me: Okay well, 'Corey' is a great name for a boy or a girl!
Me: Alright, you two just keep enjoying yourselves then. I'll let myself out.