Never one to shy away from a fad of the Internet variety, I dusted off my webcam this evening and pulled the trigger on Chatroulette.
And this is how I fared.
Chat 1
Me: Hey!
Green Lacoste Shirt Guy: Douche.
Chat 2
Me: Hey!
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Hey, bro.
Me: What are you up to?
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Smokin'.
Me: Nice!
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: You cold, bro?
Me: A little bit.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Bummer.
Me: Yeah.
Guy Holding Hookah Hose: Later, bro.
Chat 3
Me: Hey!
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: What's up?
Me: I'm just checking out this Chatroulette thing.
Uncle Jesse: We're stoned.
Me: Hey, I'm just glad you're wearing clothes.
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: Your wall looks like mustard.
Uncle Jesse: Ha! It does!
Adidas Sweatshirt Man: Pardon me, do you have any Gre...
Click.
Chat 4
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Umm, hi.
Me: Hey!
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Nice gold wall.
Me: Nice…hair.
Girl in Dark Room with Sunglasses: Bye.
Chat 5
Giggles: Eminem!
Chat 6
Me: Hey!
Girl: Where from?
Me: The United States of America. Where are you from?
Girl: Russia.
Me: Cool!
Girl: What state you live?
Me: Illinois.
Girl: Is cold there?
Me: Yes. Is it cold there?
Girl: New York City?
Me: No, I mean, is it cold in Russia?
Girl: Yes. I live New York City.
Me: I thought you lived in Rus...
Click.
Chat 7
Me: Hello!
Male with Braces: Hey!
Me: Where are you?
Male with Braces: Orange County.
Me: Cool.
Male with Braces: Is it cold there?
Me: Kinda.
Male with Braces: It's perfect here.
Me: Nice.
Male with Braces: Sorry, I didn't mean to give you the big 'Weather Fuck You.'
Me: No worries.
A pause.
Me: Welp, see ya later.
Chat 8
Me: Howdy!
A pause.
Me: I like your jacket.
A pause.
Me: You're being kind of creepy. I can hear you breathing.
A pause.
Me: Okay. I'm gonna go.
Chat 9
Me: Hey!
Nappy Girl: Hi.
Me: How are you?
Nappy Girl: Bored.
Me: That stinks.
Nappy Girl: Next.
Me: Ouch.
Chat 10
Me: Umm, seriously?
A pause.
Me: You two should probably be wearing a condom.
A pause.
Me: Okay well, 'Corey' is a great name for a boy or a girl!
A pause.
Me: Alright, you two just keep enjoying yourselves then. I'll let myself out.
Can you please start another site where you just post stuff like this about chatroulette?
ReplyDeleteOr there needs to be a site you can post these to and have people vote them up or down, sorta like a texts from last night thing.
1) That was hilarious.
ReplyDelete2) The guy in number 3 really does look eerily like Uncle Jesse.
3) I apparently have no innate knowledge of how to spell the word "eerily."
4) I kind of liked the guy from number 7. If I lived anywhere south of the snow belt, I would totally start using "weather fuck you."
5) Did I mention that was hilarious?
Those look fabulous! Great blog; happy I found you!
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, Kind Person Whose Profile Is Linked To A Website For Bongs!
Delete